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Friday, May 25, 2001

Everyone loves an upbeat story. Witness the Penguins and their Stanley Cup run, which was driven and enhanced by Mario Lemieux's return from retirement. The Penguins dominated local sports news and made a splash nationally on the strength of their compelling story.

Everyone loves a downbeat story, too, although few will admit it. Witness the Pirates and their run at 100 losses, which is driven by an astonishing streak of misfortune and an equal dose of dreadful play. With the Penguins' season over, the Pirates are the sports talk of the town these days. People are fascinated with the unusual. Mediocrity is boring. But a high level of winning or losing generates interest.

The Pirates are on pace to lose more than 100 games, a level of ineptitude that has a certain pizzazz to it. Thus far, the Pirates have been able to put together what is rare in sports -- bad play in every phase of the game. It's hard to pick which part of their performance is worse -- batting, fielding, starting pitching or the bullpen.

This team is so bad it brings to mind the 1985 Pirates, who lost 104 games and live in infamy for Pirates fans.

That team is synonymous with incompetence and somewhat legendary in that regard. To refresh your memory, that was the team of George Hendrick, Steve Kemp and Sixto Lezcano. That was the year the Pirates tried to recapture the past by reaching into the past for over-the-hill players who didn't much care anymore. The team finished 431/2 games out of first and 171/2 games behind the team in front of it in the standings.

Comparisons are inevitable in sports. In 1979, people were comparing the World Champion Pirates with the 1971 team that also won the World Series. In 1995, there were comparisons between the Steelers' defense of that season and the legendary Steel Curtain of the 1970s.

It always has been the policy of this column to give the people what they want. What follows is the long-awaited comparison between the 1985 Pirates, best remembered by the play of joggin' George Hendrick, and the 2001 Pirates, who might be destined to be remembered by the play of Derek Bell.

To simplify the process, the player who played the most games at his position will be used.

First base: Jason Thompson vs. Kevin Young: Thompson was on the downside of what had been a brief fling with well above-average play. If that's sounds familiar, it's because Young has the same bio. Edge: Even.

Second base: Johnny Ray vs. Pat Meares. No comparison here. Ray hit .274 and drove in 70 runs before being traded late in the season. Meares will not reach those numbers. Edge: 1985.

Shortstop: Sammy Khalifa vs. Enrique Wilson. Not a lot to chose here. Khalifa hit .238, which is 25 points higher than Wilson's present average. Neither man excelled in the field. Edge: even.

Third base: Bill Madlock vs. Aramis Ramirez. Madlock was a three-time National League batting champion but in decline. He could muster only a .251 batting average and 41 RBIs. Edge: 2001.

Outfielders (top four): Joe Orsulak, Marvell Wynne, Hendrick, Kemp vs. Brian Giles, John Vander Wal, Emil Brown and Bell. No contest. The outfield was the reason the 1985 team was so bad. The four players from the 1985 team combined for six home runs and 85 RBIs. Giles will surpass those numbers by himself and so should Vander Wal. Edge: 2001.

Catcher: Tony Pena vs. Jason Kendall. Again, similar players, although Pena had a down year offensively, batting .249 with 10 homers and 59 RBIs. Kendall should surpass those numbers, unless he bats first all season. Runners, however, did not take the liberties with Pena they are taking with Kendall. Edge: 2001.

Starting rotation: Rick Reuschel, Rick Rhoden, Jose DeLeon, Larry McWilliams, Lee Tunnell vs. Jimmy Anderson, Todd Ritchie, Omar Olivares, Jason Schmidt, Don Wengert or Bronson Arroyo. The veteran presence of Reuschel (14 wins) and Rhoden (10 wins) were a real plus for the 1985 team. McWilliams also pitched decently that year. Bob Walk chipped in nine starts and a 3.68 ERA. The current rotation is one of the worst in recent memory. Edge: 1985.

Bullpen: Don Robinson, John Candelaria, Cecilio Guante, Rod Scurry, Al Holland vs. Mike Williams, Jose Silva, Scott Sauerbeck, Terry Mulholland, Joe Beimel. Again, a veteran edge to the 1985 team. Guante was excellent against right-handed batters, and Robinson, Candelaria and Holland had periods of success. The current group, partially due to the weak rotation, is having its problems. Edge: 1985.

It's a tough call. The veteran pitching staff might give the 1985 team an edge. But in any case, it's safe to assume the current team has within its grasp the capability of equaling the performance of the 1985 team -- and is well on its way to doing that.

Bob Smizik can be reached at bsmizik@post-gazette.com.