ABC's Oscar telecast tried to have it all last night -- pop tartlet presenters for young movie fans; a lengthy tribute to the late director John Hughes for the Gen X crowd and hosts specializing in often corny jokes for viewers nostalgic for the days of Bing Crosby and Bob Hope -- but probably ended up pleasing few viewers.

After an uninspired musical number starring Neil Patrick Harris, tag team hosts Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin emerged, descending from the ceiling to call out seemingly every star in attendance at the Kodak Theatre (and Meryl Streep twice!).

After a while, the pair got a rhythm going and the jokes became somewhat funnier. Mr. Martin made an amusing allusion to his role in "The Jerk" (he said he identified with the star of the nominated drama "Precious" because both he and Gabourey Sidibe played characters who were "born a poor black child") but too often attempts at humor were obvious (Mr. Martin misread "Dame Helen Mirren" as "Damn Helen Mirren") or tired (a "spoiler alert" gag).

Despite an expanded lineup of best picture nominees -- up from five in recent Oscar history to 10 -- and a mega-hit nominee in "Avatar," the telecast squandered any momentum it could have had with a coma-inducing pace and not enough big-interest categories in the early going.

A montage of horror movies -- complete with a lecture from the stars of "Twilight" who scolded the audience that frightfests don't "seem to command the respect" they deserve -- did not seem like the best use of telecast time.

A few highlights and lowlights from the telecast:

Red carpet quote of the night: In chatting with E! host Ryan Seacrest, Ms. Sidibe said, "If fashion is porn, this dress is the money shot."

Give it up, ABC: The network's attempt at an Oscar pre-show is generally a mind-deadening disaster and that remained true this year. First, it's redundant because anyone who wanted to see red carpet arrivals was watching E! Just start the Oscars at 8 so people can get to bed earlier. Second, it was amateur hour. Kathy Ireland was particularly painful to watch, over-enunciating while obsequiously thanking each actor "for your talent."

One awards show too many: Neil Patrick Harris should have stopped while he was ahead. After successful stints on other awards shows, his opening at the Oscars was as cheesy as his shiny black jacket, complete with Vegas-style showgirls and the lyric, "No one wants to do it alone" as a way to introduce the show's two hosts.

Animated diversion: Having the animated nominees talk about what it means to be nominated was clever enough, although after the George Clooney-voiced "Fantastic Mr. Fox" it was all downhill.

Best presenters: Last year, Tina Fey and Steve Martin made a favorable impression as presenters. This year it was Ms. Fey and Robert Downey Jr., bantering about what writers look for in actors and vice versa (maybe she should host next year?). Mr. Downey talked about wanting to shoot phone call scenes separate from "that actress I hate" and Ms. Fey dreamed of a future of computer-generated characters that can be manipulated by writers from their laptops.

"It's a collaboration," Mr. Downey concluded, "between handsome, gifted people and sickly little mole people."

Nice tribute: Fans of John Hughes movies -- "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," "The Breakfast Club," "Home Alone," etc. -- probably appreciated the tribute to the late director and a reunion of some of the stars of his films but I imagine those who were not reared on his hits were left to wonder why so much time was devoted to him rather than someone else from the In Memoriam segment.

Most uncomfortable acceptance speech: An awkward moment came courtesy of a redheaded woman who seemingly interrupted the best documentary short winner's acceptance speech for "Music by Prudence." It turns out both the man and the woman, Elinor Burkett, worked on the film, but for a minute it seemed like a crazy person was hijacking his acceptance.

Most prepared winner: "Precious" star Mo'Nique wasted no time in her best supporting actress acceptance making a statement with conviction, getting in her thanks and leaving the stage quickly. Nicely done.

Most honest winner: Costume design winner Sandy Powell ("The Young Victoria") began by saying, "I already have two of these so I'm feeling greedy," which was honest but may not have endeared her to other nominees in the same category.

Best idea from last year improved: Pairing a performance with the In Memoriam reel was a smart idea last year -- two birds, one stone -- but it was poorly executed with the names of the deceased too small for some viewers to read. This year, producers picked a larger, more readable font.

TV columnist Rob Owen's Tuned In+ is featured exclusively on PG+, a members-only web site from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Our introduction to PG+ gives you all the details.