Like everyone, I will be watching Tiger Woods at 11 a.m. today. It is must-see TV. I'm not especially interested in getting a heartfelt "I'm sorry" from him for his marital infidelity. I just want to see if he still looks like he did in the Woods family Christmas card picture that made the Internet rounds in December. You know, the one with wife Elin smiling, looking breathtakingly beautiful and holding a golf club, and Tiger with chipped teeth, massive cuts on both cheeks, a huge lump on his forehead and a golf ball stuck in his left ear.

I know, I'm sick.

This will be the first Woods sighting since his life-changing automobile accident on Thanksgiving night. His state-of-the-Tiger address, which will be carried by all the networks, of course, shouldn't last more than five minutes. Every word surely has been scrutinized by the best public-relations people that money can buy. Every word surely will be scrutinized by millions around the world because he is Tiger Woods, after all, maybe the most recognizable face on the planet.

I can tell you I won't waste my time on much analysis. I just want to know when Woods is going to hit a golf ball again. Other than that information, I really don't care what he has to say. I don't care what he's been doing the past three months. I don't care that he might have a sex addiction. I don't care if his marriage is in trouble. He owes me nothing, least of all an explanation for why he has been a creep of a husband.

That's between Woods and his wife, who, we only can hope, won't be by his side today, trying and probably failing to look supportive. That's between him and his two kids, who will be old enough one day to realize what he did to their mother. And it's between him and his sponsors, who helped to make him the richest sports star of all time.

But it's none of my business.

Really, it's none of yours, either.

I'm a big Tiger Woods fan because I appreciate greatness. He just might be the best golfer who ever lived. I'm not going to stop being a fan just because he is -- hard as this might be to believe -- a human being with human frailties. It's not as if I've ever looked at him as a role model. I feel a little sorry for those who do. The only real role models for our kids should be across their dinner table or in their church or in their school.

But those big-money PR people will tell you that I'm in the minority. That's why Woods will read his statement of contrition today and apologize to his family, his fans and his sponsors. It's only 50-50 that he will be the least bit sincere. Reading a prepared text for the cameras after probably rehearsing dozens of times, and then not taking any questions, doesn't usually equate to coming from the heart. But it's 100 percent certain that Woods realizes this little exercise in public soul-cleansing must be done to get him off the scandal rags and back on a golf course. It's probably too late to save him with Elin and the kids, but it's never too late with the sporting public and those who pay good endorsement money to get that sporting public to buy their products.

We Americans love a good apology.

Hey, I'm all for it -- phony or otherwise -- if it puts a golf club back in Woods' hands.

I have to admit, the laughs at Woods' expense were great fun in the beginning. That Christmas picture was a hoot. So were many of the jokes.

"Did you hear Tiger changed his name to Cheetah?"

Ba-da-bing!

But the humor has lost a lot of its luster. It's way past time for Woods to get back to doing what he does best -- entertaining us with his wondrous talent.

Woods' fellow pros should welcome him back with bear hugs. They know what he means to the game of golf and how much money he has put in their pockets. That's why it was almost laughable that Ernie Els called Woods "selfish" the other day because he's making his reappearance today while the Accenture Match Play Championship is being played in Arizona. Those who benefit the most from Woods should criticize him the least.

Golf fans also will flock back to Woods. Sure, many will say they'll never look at him the same again. He has never been exactly likable, coming across as aloof and arrogant compared with, say, the world's longtime No. 2 -- Phil Mickelson -- who's constantly charming the galleries. But those same people won't be able to take their eyeballs off the television when Woods is back on a course, almost certainly before his cherished Masters April 8-11.

Nor will I.

Don't be surprised if Woods wins his fifth Green Jacket. The turmoil of the past three months won't have any impact on his game. The man might be the most focused sports figure of all time. It's as if he doesn't know anyone is on the course when he's planting a tee or lining up a putt. He's going to be as great as ever. He's going to get to 19 major championships -- he has been stuck on 14 since he won the 2008 U.S. Open on one leg -- and break Jack Nicklaus' record.

That's what I can't wait to see.

Not that five-minute appearance today.

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